how long will a narcissist hoover

For all three schools your physical presence is too much to resist and you will be hoovered. He will carefully evaluate the situation. What do you think HG Tudor? So deceptive so deeply. Recognizing, for the first time, that your long-time lover has a narcissistic personality can be a devastating discovery. 23. I mean, the N SAYS that they miss you, that they're sorry, and all that, maybe even that they still love you. Hi hg. I know he’s going to call soon for the girls, and afraid he’ll blame me for taking the girls away from him. If you escaped and fuel levels are high, the Greater will relish the opportunity to draw you back in and settle a score not by lashing out but by winning you over again to prove how masterful and commanding he is. 8 A narcissistic wound will form If the person who rejected the narcissist was important to them then the narcissist will form another narcissistic wound. My significant other is a good person. Makes you feel like this person can live without you. Whatever car, house, marriage, money they have…NEVER LASTS FOR LONG. The nature of fuel is not a major concern either to the lesser in such a situation. All email addresses he never gave me. He has been told to leave me alone in no uncertain terms. He will know if you are likely to fountain with fuel and therefore you will prove extremely tempting. I think I’m a favourite secondary supply for a Greater? I wish you all the best. Referred to as the hoover (or, as I like to call it, The Hoovering, because, to me, it smacks of a scary movie! But I think she is giving me up finally. Yes, subject to the Hoover Trigger being activates and the Hoover Execution Criteria being met. Accurate observations and certainly available yourself of this https://narcsite.com/how-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/, I cannot think of anything worse than co-parenting Alley. I do not classify using covert or overt. I escaped with our two young children, it’s been a little over two weeks and NOTHING. If you remember nothing else from this article, remember this: Narcissist Abuse & Our Codependency to Hope, Silent Treatment Appreciation – Part I (of 3-Pt Series), How the Married Narcissist Plays His Victims, A Narcissist Always Returns (The Hoovering), Cheating Narcissists & Why Great Sex with You…, Is the Narcissist Happy Now? If fuel levels are low and you were discarded, the Greater will sense that fuel remains available and he will approach. I now see this as an Initial Grand Hoover. It’s been 2 and a half months since he last drove by. Usually supportive of my ideas if not mad. The effect of the fuel supplies with a Mid-Ranger are reversed compared to that of a Lesser. He once told me he has difficulty talking about feelings. Yet still openly flirting with the downgrade. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Sound far-fetched...or does it sound familiar? Is silence is way of being hoovered instead? This is a timely post. And I can say that a majority of them never end up well in life. The main considerations are the type of FUH and how sustained it will be. I am bothered that he came to my home to leave the note. My counselor says the next and last will be her texting me some drama or being suicidal but I say she is happy getting banged by her man(who called my house but didn’t talk to me luckily) she must have smeared me so bad he blew a gasket cause I know she would not want us talking. This happens every six months. It’s all about what they can get away with. He will either sweep in full of charm, effusive praise and grandiosity, sweeping you off your feet or slide a knife between your ribs, sink his teeth into your neck and bludgeon those accompanying you before darting away in a smash and grab of negative fuel. They will carefully use their words to lead you to believe that he or she wants to work things out so they will use “love” language or use words that play on your emotions. She said she hopes I am not playing her cause I am all she has and not wanting another man. We have all had narcissist enter our lives. Thank you! I also publicly outed him, in the most ingenious way, completely devoid of emotion on my part, which resulted in his replacement appliance breaking up with him and him sending me emails,(that’s the only avenue he has since I’ve blocked all others) BEGGING me to put an end to it as it is embarrassing him to business associates. If you were discarded expect the nature of the hoover to be arrogant. And I’m sure that his nonchalant disinterest in taking me out during the good times had much to do with his planning for future hoovers where just a single text (out-of-the-blue) requesting a “date” was all that was needed to grab my attention. Crazy! The narcissist would just make contact in the usual way, by texting or ringing and picking up where he or she left off. If you were discarded and fuel levels are high, the ebullience of the Greater will override any potential adverse reaction you might exhibit. This is too good an opportunity to miss to draw fuel from two sources and copious amounts of it. If there are no obstacles and subject to the other considerations detailed above, he will hoover you and either be pleasant yet pitiful in order to draw you back in or exhibit arrogance in order to draw negative fuel and lay down a marker in the hope of causing you to feel upset and dismayed you are no longer with him (thus priming you for a different kind of follow-up hoover after this initial skirmish). In respect of obstacles, the Mid-Ranger will have some regard to them. He really digs a t-shirt I bought him and is likely to wear it often, and of course the letter I sent. I believe he has gone away, he hinted he would break up with the replacement, but only if I was willing to fight for him that is. Said she wants to spend her life with me. The grandmother and that’s all you can come up with. Read Sitting Target for more. All narcissists don’t hoover. I left when he told me he had a GF. (I know he was seeing someone new at that time as well.) For my narcissist ex, changing cell numbers before a return (and arming himself with a ridiculous excuse as to why he did it) became his preferred tactic for erasing his tracks. It’s also the only opportunity you’ll ever have for breaking the codependency to hope that the narcissist counts on you to cling to while he’s gone. Mostly, there is a reason or need for them to want to re-engage at a certain point, such as breaking up with their partner at that time. She’s haven’t seen her mother in over 20 years and I doubt she will attend the funeral. Appeals to Religious Beliefs. Thank you HG! This particular episode caused a panic attacked, I decided that was it… after 11 years. If fuel levels are low, he will look to draw negative fuel form your supporters as well in a similar way as he will from you with a short, sharp shock. I suspect I’m dealing with a Greater Narcissist or possible an upper mid-range but he is very clever and I know he has a history of being nasty. Maybe he wants to be chased. By the way i really did love you. But if he discards me because I wanted this behavior to stop (or I have disappointed him) then why an immediate hoover?! This tactic caused me a great deal of anxiety and sleepless nights and I even created a name it – The Cell Phone Game. He stalked me at my place of work by driving or jogging by for about 8 months sporadically. Narcissists hoover because they need to be adored, and who better to suck that energy than someone they decide is still vulnerable to them? You thoroughly explain the different types of narcissists perfectly. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Great article explaining the differences between types of narcissists. Potential obstacles: His flirting, or whatever he is doing with the downgrade is pushing me further away, not reeling me in. There is a score to settle and if you escaped this also increases the likelihood of the FUH being malign. I would definitely consult with HG over this. Did he sense he was losing me and needed to pull out all the stops? Can you guess which one? Did you escape or is that you were discarded; The type of narcissist you are involved with. That is like asking the ravenous beast whether he is going to eat five or six carcasses. This website is very helpful in showing just how nasty these creatures are. However, if the narcissist continuously has their ego stroked, … Higher fuel levels are more likely to lead to a benign hoover, lower to a malign hoover. If the Mid Ranger has low fuel levels and discarded you, his pity will still be the overwhelming consideration but he will exhibit contrition, as the fact of the discard will temper the contrition somewhat. However, the fact that you have entered the relevant sphere of influence is not the only deciding factor as to whether the FUH will take place. Of course, I would fall into the few that get discarded category. These factors have differing applicability subject to the school of narcissist that you have been entangled with. My life is good. This appearance overrides such considerations. This is odd and very odd. Thanks for responding HG. If you escaped expect the pity to increase. He’s told me as much… Do either/both of these qualify as hoovers? How then does our kind approach the prospective hoover? But the whole situation between you has the potential to cause severe emotional damage and mental health problems, eating disorders etc. Sends me post, cards and returned rubbish to my house. Like any good narcissist, he knew exactly how to do it and I’m sure you’ll find that it sounds familiar. I have gotten very happy about him no longer stalking me. All of this came from public court records that _he_ actually told me existed. The lesser is back again last attempt Thanksgiving, my defense mechanism has been a combination of gray rock and devaluation.

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